The best pest in the garden

Recently, I checked out the book "Pests and Diseases" from the library.  Every year I learn about a new disease when my plants die from it...this year I thought I would be more proactive and perhaps avoid some of the diseases.  I've scoured the book and its disgusting pictures absorbing information about slugs, fungus and every day garden pests such as bunnies...but the book does not cover the most formidable pests of all.  There is no deterrent for this type of critter.  Nets and fences will not trick them.  Pesticide use on this pest is illegal and they quite literally devour your crop before it even begins to ripen.  They are especially veracious consumers of berries of all types, although tomatoes, peas and carrots are also common victims.  They do not seem to bother leafy greens....  What pest is this?  Toddlers.   On the plus side, they are much more attractive than slugs.

Darwyn picks strawberries

As most of you know, I have two toddlers inhabiting my garden and their current victim is my strawberry patch.   Max has eagerly watched the baby strawberries form and pointed out every bee that entered their white flowers (a great opportunity to talk about pollination).  The instant the first berry developed even a hint of pink his eager little hands snatched it from the garden and he devoured it.  With some explanation I have been able to convince Max to pick only the berries that are pink all over (although they never get to deep red).  Darwyn, on the other hand, is not so easily convinced.  She was thankfully oblivious to the strawberries until they began to ripen and has grasped the concept that the completely green ones are not good.  But if they are white with the slightest hint of pink, she snatches them plus a handful of dirt, and plops both into her mouth.  When she can find no more berries that aren't hard and green she runs around the berry patch in distress declaring "Moi, Moi" obstinately and trying to snatch any berries her brother has collected.  At this point a vicious battle ensues where I attempt to ensure both kids have a fair allotment of unripe strawberries, with minimal biting and scratching.  Needless to say, I have not enjoyed a single berry for all my work.

Max after a strawberry snack....note to self:
 next time lose the white sweater before eating the strawberries.

Darwyn's elegant culinary techniques.

All of the knowledge I have acquired from my pest book about protecting berries from birds and bugs has proven useless.  Those pests don't stand a chance against my kids.... the berries are gone before the birds even realize they are there and the bugs don't seem to bother the kids.  They eat the berries, insects and all : (